Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Hey World

Well this is new...
where do I even begin?  Well how about at the beginning..
I met a wonderful man at the past life.  He was dazzeling.  His beautiful big brown eyes, his schrumchious tan skin, rockin bod, beautiful smile.  Was it too deceiving?   He is my Husband!  Can't be.  He was chivalrous on our dates..he treated me with respect, and oh did I mention he is 8 years older than me.  BINGO!  Things were up and they were wayyy down.  We got married on a whim at the court house in Ohio almost 4 years later.  How are things you may ask?  Well I will say that people are passing up the Jones' not just keeping up with them.  This fairy tale life we were supposed to have has turned into this working over 40 hours a week and taking drugs to keep my life sane deal.  GREAT!  What happened to the traveling?  What happened to the kids?  What happened to the wonderful life of not having to worry about money?  DRUGS!  That's what happened.  Nothing hardcore, just a euphoric, calming, relaxing white capsule.  Was this really what I asked for?  No.  I've stopped now.  It has been hell. The Mr. is jobless.  I had to push him into a scare to light a fire under his ass.  It has worked thus far, but we will see how long that lasts.  I love him though...LOVE ugh how stupid is it?  It honestly makes you do the dumbest shit get married when you're definitely not ready.  I'm fucking almost 23 years old.  I have spent the majority of the best years with a guy who has made false promises.  I'm not saying he's bad...because he isn't.  He is absolutely wonderful in so many ways.  But he is not being what a "man" should be.  I see other nice items dangeled in front of me alllll the time and I hit myself over the head for it.  FUCK.  He promises to fix it.  If he doesn't grow up in the next 15 days...He's back to Mama and Papa Jones. I'm a big girl.  I can take care of myself right?

well I think that's enough bad talk for today...
so long World...
Until we meet again

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